"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong."
-Mahatma Gandhi
May 31, 2008
Dear Dad,
I have been dragging around a lot of "old baggage" for years, and now I am ready to release it all and make room for transformations in my life.
I regret that for most of my adult life I blamed you for all my financial woes. I hope that your spirit will accept my apology and forgive me for this. I know you were a loving father and a supportive being and I am so grateful to have had you for my dad.
I know that were you still alive you would be cheering me on in my process of clearing out the old to make room for transformations that I can only guess at, at this point. I miss you and I can see that by letting go of this old inaccurate interpretation I'm getting in touch with my love for you. I want you to know I treasure my memories of growing up with you as my protector and guide.
Namaste.
Your daughter,
L
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April 23, 2008
Dear Innocent One-
I want you to know that I forgive you for being scared, for being small, for being vulnerable. I release you from having to carry the guilt and shame that I unfairly placed on you all those years ago. You were just a child.
When it began, you didn’t even know what sexual abuse was. How could you? He was your cousin; they were his friends. You didn’t know what he was doing. You only wanted to belong, to be accepted and loved. He told you this was normal. He was family and you had been taught to believe family is one of the greatest things in life. In the small world of a child, family meant everything to you. He used that against you. It wasn’t your fault.
I’m sorry I had you believe for so long that it was your fault. I’m sorry I replaced your voice with his. It is not too late for you to be heard. Despite the memories that still trouble you, you are safe now. You can say the words you couldn’t say before, cry the tears that never formed, and allow yourself to trust in those you love once again. I am present now and will protect you. I will protect you from those things that kept you quiet and hidden in the corner, including the self-destructive part of you, of us.
I am no longer alone in my suffering and neither are you. God has led me to a healing pathway through people and His assurance:
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” -Jeremiah 29: 11- 13
Let us both remember that peace will be our end result as we journey forward. Let us both continually seek out that serenity as we endure those necessary steps.
-J
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March 31, 2008
Dear W,
I was truly sorry for your family when I heard that you had died in a plane crash so close to home. It was shocking news, but I must admit I had mixed feelings. I wasn't sure that you didn't bring it upon yourself given all the stories I heard about you from some of our neighbors. And you must admit you and I didn't get along that great.
I went to your memorial service out of respect, but left more mixed up and upset than before. So I called the youth minister at my church and told him how I felt. He said that although you and I didn't get along that Jesus had a purpose for you and that maybe I didn't get a chance to know your good side.
That is what I want to ask your forgiveness for--that I didn't take the time to get to know you personally--that I listened to gossip about you and made up that you were a bad person. But when I saw the whole church filled with people who had come to pay their respects I realized that I missed my opportunity to get to know you like they did. So please forgive me--I'm sorry for having held you in low esteem.
Your neighbor,
B
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Until you release your anger, resentment, guilt and blame from the past, you carry it around as if the original offense were still occuring in the present.
You are then likely to unconsciously look for situations in the present that repeat the pain from the past. Even though you are trying to avoid them, the constant focus on "avoiding" the past ends up having you continue to see more of the same.
Forgiveness is the key to breaking patterns from the past. You become free to stop "looking for evidence" of the past repeating itself.
When you no longer obsess over what you don't want to happen, you're free to look for fulfilling, NEW experiences which you may not have believed possible when you were trying to protect yourself from
re-experiencing the pain.
Sharing your letter with loved ones gives you the opportunity
to make a difference with others...
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